total eclipse of th heart (:

turn around,

every now&then i get a little bit lonely&you're never coming round

turn around,

every now&then i get a little bit tired of listening to th sound of my tears

turn around,

every now&then i get a little bit nervous tht th best of all th years have gone by

turn around,

every now&then i get a little bit terrified&then i see th look in your eyes

turn around bright eyes,

every now&then i fall apart

turn around bright eyes,

every now&then i fall apart

&i need you now tonight

&i need you more than ever

&if you'll only hold me tight

we'll be holding on forever

&we'll only be making it right

cause we'll never be wrong together

we can take it to th end of th line

your love is like a shadow on me all of th time (all of th time)

i don't know what to do&i'm always in th dark

we're living in a powder keg&giving off sparks

i really need you tonight

forever's gonna start tonight

forever's gonna start tonight

once upon a time i was falling in love

but now i'm only falling apart

there's nothing i can do

a total eclipse of th heart

once upon a time there was light in my life

but now there's only love in th dark

nothing i can do

a total eclipse of th heart

turn around,

every now&then i get a little bit restless&i dream of something wild

turn around,

every now&then i get a little bit helpless&i'm lying like a child in your arms

turn around,

every now&then i get a little bit angry&i know i've got to get out&cry

turn around,

every now&then i get a little bit terrified but then i see th look in your eyes

turn around bright eyes,

every now&then i fall apart

turn around bright eyes,

every now&then i fall apart

&i need you now tonight

&i need you more than ever

&if you'll only hold me tight

we'll be holding on forever

&we'll only be making it right

cause we'll never be wrong together

we can take it to the end of th line

your love is like a shadow on me all of th time (all of th time)

i don't know what to do&i'm always in th dark

we're living in a powder keg&giving off sparks

i really need you tonight

forever's gonna start tonight

forever's gonna start tonight

once upon a time i was falling in love

but now i'm only falling apart

there's nothing i can do

a total eclipse of th heart

a total eclipse of th heart

a total eclipse of th heart

a total eclipse of th heart

a total eclipse of th heart

&i think my boyfriend's perfect (:

soulmate: it's a promise; not a label.

someone out there is meant to be th love of your life.

your bestfriend, your soulmate.

th one you can tell all your dreams to.

he'll smile at you when you tell him,

but he'll never laugh at your heart.

he'll brush th hair out of your eyes

&send you flowers when you least expect it.

he'll call you to tell you goodnight before you get into bed,

or just because he's thinking about you.

he'll be bursting to talk to you each morning,

just to hear th sound of your voice.

he'll look into your eyes

&tell you you're th most beautiful girl he has ever seen.

&for th first time in your life,

you'll believe it.

i believe in love,

in arguing,

in jamming out by yourself in th car.

i believe in smiling until your cheeks hurt

&laughing until you cry.

i believe in having someone tell you you're beautiful,

in dancing in th rain,

&miracles.

&i believe in second chances,

even if you've completely messed up.

sometimes you just have to let go.

let go of all th feelings&crying.

all th hatred.

&fake smiles.

it's almost always for th better.

i love you.

how hard is it to understand?

what happened to us?

what happened to i love you?

what happened to never letting go?

but most importantly,

what happened to forever?

let's rewind time.

back to when we were complete strangers.

&we knew nothing about each other.

back when everyfhing was perfect,

back when i did have to fake a smile everyday of my life.

it's not tht she doesnt love you.

it's tht she's afraid to get to close to you.

i gave him all i've got.

no one understands how much it hurts.

it never goes right when you try to make it work

even though i'm not happy,

i'll fake it.

i'm sick of all this pain,

but i'll take it.

life isnt easy.

love hurts.

boys lie.

friends stab.

people die.

parents yell.

you always try.

you're never good enough.

&you don't know why

&i think my boyfriend's perfect (:

part three.

i held her tightly&said,

"both you&i didn't notice tht our life lacked intimacy."

i jumped out of th car swiftly without locking th door.

i was afraid any delay would make me change my decision.

i walked upstairs.

dew opened th door.

i said to her,

"sorry dew, i won't divorce. im serious."

she looked at me,

astonished.

then she touched my forehead.

"you got no fever."

she said.

i moved her hand off my head.

"sorry dew."

i said.

"i can only say sorry to you.

i won't divorce.

my marriage life was boring probably because

she&i didn't value th details of life,

not because we didn't love each other anymore.

now i understand tht since i carried her into th house,

she gave birth to our child,

i am supposed to hold her till im old.

so i have to say sorry to you."

dew suddenly woke up.

she gave me a loud slap&then slammed

the door&burst into tears.

i walked downstairs&drove to th office.

when i passed th floral shop on th way,

i ordered a bouquet for my wife,

which was her favorite.

th sales girl asked me what to write on th card,

i smiled&wrote,

"i'll carry you out every morning until we are old."

<3

&i think my boyfriend's perfect (:

part two.

part two.

she brought up her divorce conditions,

she didn't want anything from me,

but i was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce.

&in th month's time,

we must live as normal a life as possible.

her reason was simple:

our son would finish his summer vacation a month later,

&she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

she passed me th agreement she drafted,

&then asked me,

"he ning,

do you still remember how i enter our bridal room in th wedding day?"

this question brought back all those wonderful memories to me.

i nodded&said,

"i remember."

"you carried me in your arms."

she continued.

"so, i have a requirement.

tht is, you carry me out in your arms on th day when we divorce.

frm now to th end of this month,

you must carry me out frm th bedroom to th door every morning."

i accepted with a smile.

i knew she missed those sweet days

&wished to end her marriage romantically.

i told dew about my wife's divorce conditions.

she laughed loudly&thought it was absurd.

"no matter wad trick she does,

she has to face th result of divorce."

she said scornfully.

her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

my wife&i hadnt had any body contact

since my divorce intention wad explicitly expressed.

we even treated each other as a stranger.

so when i carried her out on th first day,

we both appeared clumsy.

our son clapped behind us.

"daddy is holding mummy in his arms!"

his words brought me a sense of pain.

frm th bedroom to th sitting room,

then to th door,

i walked over ten meters with her in my arms.

she closed her eyes&said softly,

"let us start frm today, dont tell our son."

i nodded,

feeling somewhat upset.

i put her down outside th door.

she went to wait for a bus,

i drove to th office.

on the second day,

both of us acted much more easily.

she leaned on my chest.

we were so close tht i sould smell th fragrance of her blouse.

i realised tht i hadnt looked at this woman carefully for a long time.

i found tht she was not young anymore.

there were some fine wrinkles on her face.

on th third day,

she whispered to me,

"th outside garden is being demolished.

be careful when you pass there."

on th fourth day,

when i lifted her up,

i seemed to feel tht we were still an intimate couple

&i was holding my sweetheart in my arms.

th visualisation of dew became vague.

on th fifth&sixth day,

she kept reminding me something.

such as,

where she put th ironed shirts,

i should be careful while cooking,

etc.

i nodded.

th sense of intimacy wad even stronger.

i didn't tell dew about this.

i felt it was easier to carry her.

perhaps th everyday workout made me stronger.

i said to her,

"it seems not difficult to carry you now."

she was picking her dresses.

i was waiting to carry her out.

she tried quite a few but could not find th suitable one.

then she sighed,

all my dresses have grown bigger.

i smiled.

but I suddenly realised tht it was because she was thinner

tht i could carry her more easily,

not because i was stronger.

i knew she had buried all th bitterness in her heart.

again, i felt a sense ofpain.

subconsciously,

i reached out a hand to touch her head.

our son came in at th moment.

"dad it's time to carry mum out."

he said.

to him,

seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life.

she gestured our son to come closer&hugged him tightly.

i turned my face because

i wad afraid i would change my mind at th last minute.

i held her in my arms,

walking frm th bedroom,

through th sitting room,

to th hallway.

her hand surrounded my neck softly&naturally.

i held her body tightly,

as if we came back to our wedding day.

but her much lighter weight made me sad.

on th last day,

when i held her in my arms,

i could hardly move a step.

our son had gone to school,

she said,

"actually i hope you will hold me in your arms till we are old."

&i think my boyfriend's perfect (:

a story to share - part one.

people,

i've got a story to share

(:

part one.

on my wedding day,

i carried my wife in my arms.

th bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat.

my buddies insisted tht i carry her out of th car in my arms.

so i carried her into our home.

she was then plump&shy.

i was a strong&happy bridegroom.

this was th scene ten years ago.

th following days were as simple as a cup of pure water.

we had a kid;

i went into business&tried to make more money.

when th assets were steadily increasing,

th affection between us seemed to ebb.

she was a civil servant.

every morning,

we left home together&got home almost at th same time.

our kid was studying in a boarding school.

our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy.

but th calm life was more likely to be affected;

by unpredictable changes.

dew came into my life.

it was a sunny day.

i stood on a spacious balcony.

dew hugged me from behind.

my heart once again was immersed by her stream of love.

this was th apartment i bought for her.

dew said,

"you are th kind of man who best draw girls' eyes."

her words suddenly reminded me of my wife.

when we were just married,

my wife said,

"men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls."

thinking of this, i became somewhat hesitant.

i knew i had betrayed my wife.

but i couldn't help doing so.

i moved dew's hands aside&said,

"you go&select some furniture, ok?

i've got something to do in th company."

obviously, she was unhappy,

because i had promised to do it together with her.

at th moment,

th idea of divorce became clearer in my mind,

although it used to be something impossible to me.

however,

i find it rather difficult to tell my wife about it.

no matter how mildly i mentioned it to her,

she'd be deeply hurt.

honestly, she was a good wife.

every evening, she was busy preparing dinner.

i was sitting in front of th tv.

th dinner was ready soon.

then we watched tv together.

or, i was lounging before th computer,

visualizing dew's body.

one day,

i said to her in a slightly joking way.

"suppose we divorce,

what will you do?"

she stared at me for a few seconds without a word.

apparently,

she believed tht divorce was something too far away from her.

i couldn't imagine how she would react

once she got to know i was serious.

when my wife went to my office,

dew had just stepped out.

almost all th staff looked at my wife with sympathetic eyes

&tried to hide something while talking to her.

she seemed to have got some hint.

she gently smiled at my subordinates.

but i read some hurt in her eyes.

once again,

dew said to me,

"he ning, divorce her, ok? then we live together."

i nodded.

i knew i could not hesitate anymore.

when my wife served th last dish,

i held her hand.

"i've got something to tell you,"

i said.

she sat down&ate quietly.

again, i observed th hurt in her eyes.

suddenly, i didn't know how to open my mouth.

but i had to let her know what i was thinking.

"i want a divorce."

i raised th serious topic calmly.

tht night,

we didn't talk to each other.

she was weeping.

i knew she wanted to find out

what had happened to our marriage.

but i could hardly give her a satisfactory answer,

because my heart had gone to dew.

with a deep sense of guilt,

i drafted a divorce agreement which stated tht

she could own our house,

our car&30% stake of my company.

she glanced at it&then tore it into pieces.

i felt a pain in my heart.

th woman,

who had been living ten years with me,

would become a stranger one day.

but i could not take back what i had said.

finally, she cried loudly in front of me,

which was what i had expected to see.

to me,

her cry was actually a kind of release.

th idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks,

seemed to be firmer&clearer.

late tht night,

i came back home after entertaining my clients.

i saw her writing something at th table.

i fell asleep fast.

when i woke up,

i found her still there.

i turned over&was asleep again.

end of part one.

*story will continue in th next entry.

stay tune.

LOL!

till later people (:

&i think my boyfriend's perfect (:

im wantong (:

right now,

im munching on pringles tht just

flew from hongkong,

&a bottle of hoegaarden.

sweet~

life has been pretty sucky lately.

i wanna turn back th time,

if i have th chance.

people have been opposing me ):

&my boyfriend,

he's still so wonderful.

i must have done a good deed,

or thousands of it,

during my previous lifetime,

to deserve a boyfriend like him.

good boyfriend spells darrell (:

anw, did something which i didnt

think is wrong,

but my father is cursing me like nobody's business.

he said awful stuffs&made me cried.

mummyteo wants me to apologise.

but,

im not gonna to.

my boyfriend wants me to apologise.

&, im gg to.

SCREW MY LIFE MAN!

im DEFINITELY willing to do

ANYTHING,

i repeat, ANYTHING,

to get a better life.

murder or arson,

you name it.

SHOO SHOO!

all th bad luck&stuffs,

would you go away please?

kindly take pity on me.

sometimes,

i even think tht i actually find myself pitiful.

now tell me ppl,

how hilarious can tht be?

how ridiculous can it be?

how pathetic can it be?

HOW CAN IT BE?

im wantong, th strongest girl on Earth.

im wantong, th girl who never gave up.

im wantong, th one who's always cheerful.

im wantong, th loud hailer.

im wantong, th irritating fella.

im wantong, th spelling bee.

im wantong, th belle of BPS guide.

im wantong, th crazy girl.

im wantong, th super duper enthu freak.

im wantong, th pool-siao.

&lastly,

im wantong, th mrs-linyanshi-to-be.

&i think my boyfriend's perfect (: